A decade ago, at a forum sponsored by the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation, Rav Pam zt’l, venerable rosh yeshiva of Torah Vodaath, made a plea – and issued a challenge. The topic he was speaking about was ona’as devarim – hurtful speech, which, in Rav Pam’s own words “…is comprised of words that cut deeply and cause a great deal of pain, and is the cause of many tragedies.” So much had been done to educate the Jewish world about the dangers of loshon hora, of speaking ill of others. But what about the negative words that one person said not about another, but to another? What about the biting remarks, the criticisms, the insults, which led, Rav Pam said, to broken hearts, broken homes, and broken lives? Then Rav Pam issued the challenge: “Much more needs to be said publicly about the tragedy spawned by ona’as devarim. This concept needs the kind of exposure that has been applied to loshon hora in recent years…”
Positive Word Power, published by ArtScroll/Mesorah in conjunction with the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation, is the answer to Rav Pam’s words. Following the extraordinarily successful format of The Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day on the laws of loshon hora, Positive Word Power focuses on our verbal interactions with people. “Positive Word Power is not about verbal abuse,” says one of the editors who was involved in the multi-year, collaborative effort. “This is about the nuances of conversation, the little differences that can make a big difference. It’s about the small criticisms that we keep repeating.”
Positive Word Power identifies the negative speech patterns that we often tend to follow, and shows us how to replace them with encouraging, affirming ones. Each entry includes a scenario that shows us how to put the positive speech into our real life interactions. “You will find yourself in these scenarios,” says the project’s editorial director. “The scenarios are so believable – you’ll keep saying, ‘hey, that could be me!’”
Rav Pam said, on that historic day: “The result [of refraining from ona’as devarim] would surely be fewer marital problems, less estrangement of children from their parents and fewer dropouts from the yeshivos… powerful words should be written about this topic…” At last, those “powerful words,” and the blessings that refraining from ona’as devarim bring, are available to anyone who can give a few minutes a day to learn “Positive Word Power.”
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