Adapted from: Flashes of Inspiration by Rabbi Shlomo Landau

It was a sweltering evening in Bnei Brak in 1991. A middle-aged gentleman slowly made his way to Rechov Chazon Ish #5. He found the apartment that he was looking for and gave a gentle knock on the door.

A moment later the door was opened by none other than Harav Aharon Leib Shteinman who immediately recognized the man as one of the local Yidden who frequently came to collect tzedakah to support his family.

As he usually did, Rav Shteinman reached into his pocket, took out a few shekel, and kindly handed it to the Yid wishing him much hatzlachah.

The fellow accepted the money with words of thanks on his lips and headed to the next apartment. 

A few minutes later, there was a knock on Rav Shteinman’s door. Once again, Rav Shteinman opened the door and was surprised to see the same man. With sensitivity he indicated that he had just given him a donation, but this time the man asked if he could come in, as there was something important that he needed to discuss with the Rosh Hayeshivah. 

Rav Shteinman warmly welcomed the Yid into his home and the man shared that he was hoping that Rav Shteinman could assist him with getting his son accepted in Yeshivah Ketanah of Ponevezh, where Rav Shteinman served as Rosh Hayeshivah. 

As always, Rav Shteinman replied that acceptances were under the jurisdiction of Rav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz and that it was not his decision. Additionally, the yeshivah was already full to capacity and that the chances of being accepted were slim to none.

Rav Shteinman continued, “I am a bit confused, just two minutes earlier you knocked on my door to collect tzedakah and you didn’t mention anything about your son. Was your son’s yeshivah a sudden after thought”?

The Yid stammered and replied, “When I first knocked on your door it was to discuss my son’s yeshivah future, but before I even had a chance to say anything, you had reached into your pocket and kindly given me tzedakah. So I decided to continue on and collect from your neighbors and then come back on my way down.

When Rav Shteinman heard this his face turned white. He suddenly realized that when the man had initially knocked at the door it was not to collect tzedakah as usual, but rather to discuss his son. 

“Oy vey!” Rav Shteinman moaned, “I automatically identified you as a tzedakah collector when in truth you had come to discuss something of such importance; your son’s future. I beg you for mechilah. Woe is me for slighting your honor…”

The man immediately responded that he was not at all hurt and that there was absolutely no reason to ask forgiveness. 

“Since I often knock at your door to collect tzedakah and you always respond generously, there was absolutely no reason for you to assume differently.” 

Even so, Rav Shteinman was beside himself and would not accept the explanation.

Rav Shteinman responded, “Listen, I was not careful enough with your honor and therefore it is incumbent on me to figure out a way to make this right. 

You should know that I never get involved with acceptances to Ponevezh Yeshivah Ketanah, but this time I am going to make an exception and im yirtzeh Hashem do everything I can to ensure that he is accepted.” 

From that moment on, the son became a real priority in Rav Shteinman’s life and Rav Shteinman ensured the bachur was accepted into the Yeshivah Ketanah and joined his shiur. He personally followed the boy’s progress daily, showing deep care and treating him like a son.

When it was time for Yeshivah Gedolah, Rav Shteinman again got involved, guiding the decision and ensuring his acceptance to Ponevezh — a rare move for him.

The bachur thrived, becoming a star talmid, then a respected marbitz Torah.

It is truly incredible that this was all a result of a totally unintentional assumption by Rav Shteinman, and his regret that he may have slighted the fellow.

Rav Shteinman’s hanhagah raises the bar on how we must conduct ourselves when interacting with others.