Adapted from: A Most Meaningful Viduy by Rabbi Yechiel Spero

הֶעֱוִינוּ — We made the path crooked. We set others off course. Maybe without meaning to. Maybe with a joke, a gesture, or even a silence that spoke too loud.

וְהִרְשַׁעְנוּ — We made it worse. We pulled others down. Not only did we stumble, but we made it harder for others to stand.

הֶעֱוִינוּ. וְהִרְשַׁעְנוּ. Two words. Two confessions. But they don’t focus on our actions. It’s more about how we have influenced others.

It’s the power of השפעה, influence.  השפעהcomes from the word שיפוע, an incline, a ramp. What’s placed at the top of a hill eventually rolls down. Meaning: what’s inside me will affect you. What drips from my heart will land in yours. What rolls off my tongue will echo in someone else’s ears — and maybe shape the way they live.

We may not wear the title “leader,” but we lead every day. A younger sibling watches you. A friend listens to how you talk. A classmate sees how you daven, how you dress, how you laugh, how you react. And it shapes them.

The only question is: Are we the reason someone bent a little lower… or stood a little taller? 

And that brings us to a story. 

The United States Marines are known as one of the most elite military forces in the world. The soldiers go through the toughest training and the most demanding exercises. One commander of a top combat unit decided he wanted to raise his team’s performance to the next level. And he planned to use their most dominant trait: their competitive spirit.

He gathered the best soldiers in his unit and announced a challenge: “You will be split into two teams and you’ll compete against each other in a complex, high-level combat course. This course will push you to the limit, and we’ll see which team performs best.”

Both teams immediately entered intense preparation mode. They trained harder than ever, drilled every maneuver, and became even sharper and faster. 

The night before the competition, each team leader gave his group a motivational talk. Team A’s commander stood before his men and said, “The course you’re about to face is extremely difficult. You’ve trained hard, but this challenge is harder than anything you’ve done. Some parts will test you physically. Others will try to destroy you mentally. You might get hurt. You might not even finish. I just hope you can make it to the end.”

The soldiers looked at each other, worried. Were they really ready? Meanwhile, Team B’s commander took a completely different tone. “This won’t be easy,” he admitted, “but you’ve been preparing for this for years. Your training, your mental toughness, and your teamwork are all unmatched. I believe in every single one of you. I know you have what it takes. Work together, push through, and you’ll finish strong.”

The soldiers of Team B felt the energy. They were pumped. Ready.

The next morning, the two teams lined up at the start. The whistle blew. The race began.

They climbed cliffs. They crawled through mud. They hauled heavy loads up hills. The trail turned dangerously slippery, and it took everything to keep moving.

In time, Team A started slipping. Some fell; their energy was gone. The doubts planted in their minds had taken root. Every obstacle looked like a mountain.

At the same time, Team B encouraged each other. They lifted each other up — literally. No one moved forward until the last one climbed up. They believed they could finish, and that drove them.

Finally, after many hours, Team B crossed the finish line, exhausted but victorious. Team A didn’t even finish. 

After giving them time to rest, the division commander called both teams together. “I want to tell you something,” he began. “You all trained the same way. You’ve all completed the same missions in the past. So why did only one team succeed today? Let me remind you: A year ago, you did this same exact course. The only difference? You did it at night, in total darkness. And you all passed. Every single one of you.

“That’s right. You already did this impossible’ course. So what happened? It was the power of words. Yesterday, I told the two team leaders to give very different speeches. One to encourage. One to challenge. One built confidence. One planted doubt. The rest you saw yourselves.

“Team A, don’t be discouraged. You are capable of far more. In fact, you were all handpicked to go on to officer training. You will be leaders one day. 

“You now understand: Words matter. What you say can pull someone down, or lift them up. That was the true lesson of this mission.”

As I say Viduy…

…I will keep in mind that I have the power to change others. I will try to strengthen and uplift, not weaken or belittle.

Because someone out there might finish or quit the race — only because of me.